Our sexual orientation and gender identity are an important part of who we are. Whether or not you decide to share this information with family or friends is your choice and should be based on whatever feels safe for you.

The decision to come out is yours alone, and there is no right or wrong way to do it. This experience can be exciting for some people and nerve-wracking for others, and the good news is you don’t ever have to rush it. Your decision to come out or not does not change the validity of your sexual orientation or gender identity.

If you are thinking about having this conversation with your loved ones, here are some thoughts:

Advice for starting the conversation

  • Speak to someone you trust first, whether that's a friend that's also part of the LGBTQ+ community or just someone who you feel fully comfortable talking to.

  • Remember that you're in control of who you share this with and when. Don't feel like you have to tell a certain person by a certain time, just do it when you feel most comfortable. It's easy to be swayed by others' opinions, but just like your sexuality or gender identity, YOU get to choose what feels right.

  • Sometimes difficult conversations are unavoidable. If the other person has said something upsetting, you might find it helpful to explain to them why it was hurtful to you, which might include revealing that you identify with that group. It could encourage them to educate themselves on LGBTQ+ issues.

  • Some people may not know how to react and may inadvertently say something offensive without knowing. Gently explaining why it was offensive may help them to better understand.

If you have any questions or would like to speak to someone confidentially, our Sonder support team is available to chat 24/7.


If you have any questions or need extra support, we're here to help you anytime in any language. Simply start a chat with us via the home screen of the Sonder app.

Information sourced from: HealthDirect and Bupa

Image credit: Paras Kapoor on Unsplash

All content in Sonder's Help Centre is created and published for informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice.

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