We can’t help it, it’s in our nature to want to fit in. Whether that’s being part of a friendship group, sports team or a work team, it’s natural to want to be included and accepted. Often people change themselves to fit in with a group, taking on a new personality or liking certain things just to belong.

But in the long run, your authentic self is being squashed. And while we know the advice is cliché and overused, it’s true: the best way to fit into a group is to be yourself. Putting on a new personality in order to fit in is too exhausting and your actual self is more than enough. If you’re still struggling though to find a group of friends that fits for you, we’ve got some tips below.

Don’t settle on the first group you see. Know that if you don’t feel comfortable or feel like you can be yourself with a certain group of people, you might be better off if you search for a new group. A place where you know you’ll feel accepted and you’ll feel like you belong.

Sure, it might be nice to chat about something you’re all interested in, but just because you’re not into rock climbing or reality TV, doesn’t mean you won’t get along. It’s true that similar people are more likely to become friends with each other but it doesn’t mean all hope is lost if you have differing ideas or hobbies. Friendships can blossom from a range of personalities, so don’t count someone out just because they might have a different interest.

Who said you even need to join a group in the first place? In reality, it’s not always possible for everyone to fit into neat little groups, after all we can’t all be categorised. The social world has created archetypes to make sense of people, but we can’t all be defined by a single word or phrase. For example, claiming someone is a ‘hipster’ reduces their varied personality to an archetype and you may end up missing out on getting to really know them as an individual. As long as you have some friends who you can trust and be your authentic self around, that’s all that matters.

If you're struggling to find those connections or feeling lonely or isolated, reach out to a psychologist or a Sonder team member who can provide support.

If you have any questions or need extra support, we're here to help you anytime in any language. Simply start a chat with us via the home screen of the Sonder app.

Information Sources: Succeed Socially

Image credit: Friends

All content is created and published for informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice. Always seek the guidance of a qualified health professional.